Friendsgiving 2017

Alright, I’m gunna be real right up front here. Our friendsgiving looked nothing like that beautiful photo at the top that my mother took. Ours involved a lot space heaters and lawnmowers, IT HAD CHARACTER.

However, it was a perfect friendsgiving. If you’re lost, let me help you. Friendsgiving is what you wish your real thanksgiving was. Instead of sitting around your grandmas plastic covered table to eat dinner at 7:30 in the morning while listening to your weird uncle talk about gun control and Ronald Reagan, you get to be with your FRIENDS.

Everyone gets assigned a dish to bring and you roll up to someones house with your arms full of hot dishes, like those black Friday commercials when the moms roll out of the mini-van in slow motion, and you get down. No waiting for everything to cook because you only had to cook like one thing. If you want to take this party to another level, I suggest printing out official invites, and menu cards for the table. There are so many options at Etsy.com or you can make them yourself like I did.

Make sure to include all the relevant information, like the fact that the barn was going to be super clean, that you cannot enter the barn without the food you promised (hardcore), and make fun of the fact that your friend is newly vegan.

Our hostess also laid out hats that we had to color, I’m pretty sure that they came from the dollar store but I don’t trust anything that comes out of her mouth because she tricked everyone with vegan mashed potatoes with VEGAN CHEESE. It was like when you think you’re getting invited to a cool ass party but they actually are trying to get you to join their mega church. Also she opened the 64 pack of crayons from the top, as if she was born at the ripe age of 37 and didn’t know it had a flip top for easier selecting.

It’s super funny to see your friends try color, especially after several vodka apple ciders, and then try to fit these kids hats onto their giant heads.

Speaking of vodka apple ciders, that is a perfect drink for the party. If you do NOT have your party in a barn and you actually have it in a functioning home you could even warm up that beverage. Other than that we did BYOB. I brought champagne, obviously. Always a safe choice. If you want to make a group effort and make sangria, I would suggest the following:

-A sweet red wine for your base

-caramel vodka or apple vodka

-cranberry juice

-sprite

-(champagne if you want more bubbles)

-throw in apple chunks, cranberries (risky, they usually clog the spout and you end up drinking out of a ladle at the end of evening), and I also love pears for a holiday sangria.

-garnish with sticks of cinnamon if you want a little spice (I’m allergic, nobody in my squad gets spice..ever)

Just a suggestion, but I’m correct about everything, always.

You are going to need a surprise factor to really amp up this party……that is where you unveil the….

The turkey piñata. Which you will fill with discounted halloween candy, tiny (PLASTIC!!) liquors, and various discounted halloween toys (like glow in the dark teeth and long plastic witch fingers which your friends will wear out to the bar later against their better judgement). It should be noted that, as in my case, your friends will ignore all the treats completely and fight over all 20 witch fingers.

After you’re done cry laughing because your friends have a towel over their head that smells like bread and have been karate chopping the air with whatever wooden stick you found laying around for 15 minutes, you’re going to want to cap off the night with a staple.

Bust out a group game and polish off your beverages. This makes or breaks the evening. You can enjoy a game with your friends before you all disperse, to never have the same night off ever again, or you can rage all night until one of you wakes up with “thug lyfe” written on your knuckles. The choice is yours my friends.

LETS RECAP:

-You need decorations, otherwise you’re just eating dinner at your friends house

-Everyone brings a part of the menu, saves the host a ton of time, allowing the most time for shenanigans

-Decide if you want BYOB or if someone needs to make a dispenser of drinks

-DOUBLE CHECK that you’re not eating any vegan options

-Get a wow factor (piñata)

-Find a game that can include everyone

-Don’t let your friend write thug lyfe on your knuckles at the bar

The main thing is, don’t stress out. Leave the stress for REAL Thanksgiving dinner when you have to pretend you left your wallet at home so you don’t have to buy any of your aunts lipsense. Just be with your friends and pretend like the stress of having to punch someone over a $10 markdown on a TV in a few weeks at black Friday doesn’t exist. Get a damn Little Caesars Hot-N-Nasty and just hang out if you have to.

Get to planning, start a group chat and start telling everyone whats up.

 

 

November 14, 2017
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