Alright, I am leery of purchasing something that is advertised from ‘meme box’, mostly because that really doesn’t sounds like a place I’d want to get my skincare from. I picture a ‘meme box’ a box full of tide pods and distracted boyfriends. However, I saw a photo of disco kitten mask and it really did look like some unicorn blood shit. It was so luminous, shiny and silver. It has to be what Paris Hiltons sweat looks like.
I also really don’t like peel off masks, due to the fact that they really are not that good for you. Sure peel off masks make your skin feel so clean and fresh and you can look at all the stuff it pulled out. Well, that is why it is bad. You should not be ripping shit out of your pores, it is only going to make your pores look larger. Pores are best cleaned through steaming them open and shit like that, not ripping them open.
I have said it once and I will say it again, New Years resolutions are garbage. They are not a binding contract (I don’t know, they could be, I’m still waiting on final grades and I think I might have failed contracts. EVERYTHING AND NOTHING IS A BINDING CONTRACT) and realistically, nobody is going to hold anybody to their promises.
It’s just an excuse to make a really long facebook post that nobody will laugh at you for because everybody is feeling all spiritual and open, even though as soon as they’re done writing about their new profound outlook on life they’re going to have they’re making fun of Tammy’s chunky super cut highlights.
You’re not fooling me. If I MUSTTT make some resolutions for the new year, I prefer to keep them broad. Otherwise it turns into a weird morbid bucket list with an expiration date. Without any further ado:
Reverse Bucket List
New Years resolutions are so dumb. I can’t ever think of something I want to do. I want abs and not be out of breath when I walk up the stairs, but I’m not prepared to take the necessary steps to get there. So no, I don’t want to make my resolution to go to the gym more and no I most certainly do not want to go to the gym with you. I don’t want to have some generic resolutions that I don’t really want to do in the first place, like go to the gym and eat better and drink less and meditate. I WANT TO DO COOL SHIT. But like, what kind of cool shit…? When presented with open ended personal questions I freak out.
“If you could live anywhere in the world where would you want to live?”
ummmm… I dont know, Columbus is pretty cool? Maybe Ann Arbor?
A blast from the past
There were few things I looked forward to more than when all my magazines came in the mail. You know, Vogue, Elle, Glamour, all the magazines that you never ordered but somehow got delivered every month and you have no idea who is paying for them. Today was the day I had to purge 99% of the magazines I have amassed, because the top of my closet was about to cave in. I looked through so many magazines today, 2012-present day. There were so many great finds in these magazines, so many lost trends, so many old editorals. Gigi pre-Taylor squad. I feel like Stefon, “These magazines have everrrrythingggg.”
The top photo are the only magazines I elected to keep. It was hard to pick, but like a true eighth grader, I ripped out all the pictures I liked and set the rest of the magazine aside. I couldn’t help but pick out a few things that I miss.
Okay so, all your friends are weird.
That’s okay, I have created a gift guide based on different types of friends one might encounter. No more guessing what Brittany, the laziest human on the planet, might want. No more assuming all Susan, the mom of the group, wants is a gift card for a stacked bob haircut. I have gone through and analyzed my own friend group, and friend groups from TV, and curated five perfect categories to help you get your shop on.
1. The hotmess express (choo choo)
You know a few things to be sure in this crazy world. She will be the most excited to go out. She will be the first to cry. She will have to leave the bar 10:30pm. Help her out guys..
The gift guide was supposed to be posted today. It really was, but Prince Harry and Meghan Markle had OTHER PLANS for the world though. LIKE A FREAKING ROYAL WEDDING. Get out your William and Kate china guys.
(Quick disclaimer, all the pictures used here will be from Gettys Embedded, so they’ll have all Getty’s labels and everything. Sorry if thats annoying, but I cannot afford to purchase these photos and I don’t want to go to jail)
My first thought was “how dare you?” and then I remembered that Meghan Markle is gorgeous, famous, and ultra fancy chic (not a cat food) and I was fine with it. How could Harry NOT marry Meghan? The more I read the more I’m like yeah okay but does Harry deserve Meghan. America has decided to stan.
Our Trip to Wheeler Christmas Tree Farms-
One of my favorite parts of the holiday season (besides champagne and a roaring fire in the house) is the Christmas tree.
Me and my mom like to try to get an 11 foot Christmas tree. Despite our ceilings being 8 feet tall.
My family travels to Whitehouse Ohio and walk around the giant farm searching for the perfect tree. The best part is there are so many kinds you get to choose from. Wheeler Farms has so many types of different kinds of trees. In those categories are plenty specific trees to pick from! As opposed to going to a farm with just 30 trees already cut and somehow the only trees left are the ones with, what feels like, literal needles left where people have to pretend they’re having fun decorating but everyone is bleeding and crying and its chaos.
If there is one thing I know on Saturday, it is that the next morning there will be brunch to be had. Have a nice relaxing Saturday at home? You deserve some brunch. Did you get too drunk, get kicked out of a bar, and fall asleep at 3am? Recoup with….you already know…
I take brunch very seriously. Like how Bob Evans SAYS they have it but that is a total lie because there are no mimosas. or how some other places say they have it but only have lunch food and make their mimosas with moscato. NO.
One place in Toledo throws a proper brunch, and one place is a close runner up.
Have you ever watched TV and been like “yeah I can do that“? Thats how my family ended up at Family Feud auditions. There was a post going around facebook, that they were coming to the area where I live I decided to just fill out the application and see where it took us. With the amount of shares it was getting in my community, and the fact that I did NOT include a video, I figured our chances were pretty slim, but whatever. Don’t talk about it, be about it SON. So we were about it, and got an email around a week later telling us to request an in person audition time.
There are few things I love more than redoing my room (makeover !!!). I am always changing something, it makes me feel like I control over my life. Yeah, you wanna schedule all my papers to be due on the same day? WELL I just rearranged my toners and moisturizers, so…? I also get sick of things, like real fast. It’s why I dye my hair 10 times in a calendar year. Sometimes you just need something NEW